I Want Peace.

What a WEEK!

Last Wednesday I started out the day full of life and the world was a bright an colorful place! I got off work early, had a few errands to run, went to the mall and did some shopping with my mom and my little Kai, and by the time I laid down at night, I felt the aches coming on. I woke up Thursday morning with the full on flu. Went to work anyway. From then until now it's progressed into a full on sinus and throat infection complete with an ear infection. I have been experiencing a lot of personal growth in my life lately, and right there in the middle of it I felt like a big PAUSE button was pushed. I am happy to say that today is the first day I feel somewhat normal and I am more than ready to get back to our somewhat inconsistent routine.

When you are a free spirit and you are married to one, routine is something that is needed, but it is also something that you have to hold on to lightly. It does not come natural, nor does it always come easy. Here's one thing I have learned while trying desperately to add some sort of order to our life: DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. It might not look completely organized to someone else. Your routine may look like a wild ride compared to your "soccer mom-super woman" friends, but if it works for you, don't be intimidated by what it does or does not look like. Don't compare, but challenge yourself to be better at the things that are priorities in you life. Take advice and glean from what other people who are on the same journey have learned. Be content, but never satisfied. Be strong, yet vulnerable, and tender yet tenacious.

Never give-up on yourself. Seasons always change, and so will you. Healthy things GROW and growing things CHANGE. Stay true to who you are, but always leave room for God to complete His work of purifying you.

These are all things that I am learning, and currently trying to grab ahold of. A song a friend of mine wrote once really drove home the point that God loves me just the way that I am, but He loves me too much to leave me that way. What a profound truth to grab ahold of! I feel comforted by this in one second and in the next, my insecurity puts her hands on her hips and in full on defense mode says, "Wait a second God, what's wrong with the way that I am?" And then the thought dances around in my head a little more and I am able to admit to God (like He didn't already know) that I don't really have it all together. I want to do a good job at life, but most days I have this underlying anxiety and feel like I am moments away from dropping the ball... What ball?! I don't even know! The ball that no one forced me to pick up in the first place. I'm not good at vulnerable, and coming to this point in our relationship with God, and even our spouses takes intimidating amounts of it. It goes without saying that God does not require my vulnerability in order to see past the outer layers, but why do we try so hard and even have it all pulled together when approaching Him? Vulnerability takes the focus off of fear, and places the focus on peace, and I want peace. My home can offer the most inviting, cozy, peaceful atmosphere, but if my mind and heart can not offer me a place to rest and be at peace with myself and my creator, it's all a charade. I am determined to get this right, not to the point of expecting perfection, but to the point of letting it sink in. I want it grab ahold of the restlessness inside of me and gently lay it to rest. It's getting closer, and it is with a humble heart that I can look and see God's unfailing love at work in me.

Still working on getting my blog, as well as other projects in my life, back to a level of consistency. My blog layout is a little anemic these days, so bear with me.

xoxo

Karis

The Daniel Fast

On January 10, me and Seth started a 21 day spiritual journey that has proven to be a great decision. We are about half way through what is known as "The Daniel Fast."

I've had a lot of questions come my way about the fast over the past week and here what what one website that is completely dedicated to the Daniel Fast has to say about it:

What is the Daniel Fast?

"It's a biblically based partial fast based on two accounts of the Prophet Daniel's fasting experiences (seed Daniel 1 and 10) and typical Jewish fasting principles. The Daniel Fast eating plan is similar to a vegan diet with additional restrictions."

Why do it?

"The Daniel Fast is a powerful spiritual experience to help followers of Jesus Christ develop a more intimate relationship with their Lord, seek answers to prayer, and grow in the love and knowledge of the Savior. ...Fasting, when coupled with prayer, serves as a powerful vehicle to draw closer to God. This is a God-designed discipline to enable the Creators people to enter into a focused time of seeking the Father and His wisdom, intervention and direction."

Where does it come from?

Daniel, chapters 2 and 10 from The Bible

"In the Bible, Daniel rejected the foods that the King of Babylon set before him. Likely, the meats were animals that had been sacrificed to idols and gods other than the God of Israel. Daniel and his three companions refused to pollute themselves with the King's delicacies. The principal court official got worried that these young men would become weak. The King would not be happy with this because these young men, along with several other Israelite captives, had been hand selected as the best of them all. He wanted them trained to serve in the palace.

Eating these foods would mean defiling himself before his God, so Daniel requested that the court official give him and his companions a diet of "vegetables and water" for 10 days as a test. At the end of the 10 days they were in better health than the other captives who had been eating the rich food of the King. They went on to have very prominent positions in the King's service." (source)

Basically the Daniel Fast is a 21 day selective fast which consists of a "plant-based" eating plan which basically means fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. This means no meat, dairy, sugar, caffeine, or complex carbs. You can have whole wheat and brown whole grain rice, but no yeast, so that cuts out just about anything but whole wheat tortillas.

That translates for us... no what-a-burger grilled chicken sandwiches, no shrimp, no steak or burgers, no cheese, no ranch dressing, no chocolate, no fajitas, no regular pasta, no sour cream, no ice cream, no frozen yogurt, no soda, (more importantly for me NO DIET DR. PEPPER), no coffee, no pastries, no chick-fil-a (which means no polynesian sauce or chick-fil-a sauce), No french fries, no tiramasu, no cup cakes, no hot wings, no sushi, no sugar, artificial sweetener, no honey.... and the list could go on and on.

I know from that list, you are probably thinking that we eat like there's no tomorrow! We actually keep quite a healthy balance to our diet, but there are always those cravings here and there that you want to satisfy and typically do. That is where the discipline and dedication to the fast comes in, and although we have done a vegan diet before in order to lose weight, our motives aren't weight loss.

Today is day 8. This is a very popular practice in the Christian faith and several of our friends are also participating in it as well as Christians from all over the nation from January 10-31. (some do it from Jan 1-21)

To people who have never eaten vegetarian or vegan, it is a totally foreign concept that you can cook hearty, delicious meals even with such strict limitations. I love to cook, and I love the challenge of cooking great tasting, healthy food. I have periodically posted pictures and updates about our menu over the past 8 days and have had several comments and texts about posting some of the recipes that we have used. So here is what we've been eating. They are all SO easy! (excuse the poor quality photos, I took these with my poor little beat-up iphone)

Vegetarian fajitas on whole wheat tortillas with guacamole and pico.

We grilled up some red and green bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, and zucchini. Seasoned it. Make some homemade guac and pico and there it is! SO easy and yummy! (if you buy guac, pico or salsa from the store, be sure to buy organic and read the label!)

Boca Burger Wraps with grilled potatoes

We actually used an organic brand of portobello mushroom burgers, cooked them, cut them in half, added lettuce, guac and some onion on a whole wheat tortilla. Then I grilled up some chopped potatoes, onions and mushrooms with some seasoning which made a nice little hash.

Stir-fry with brown rice and veggies

Just what it says! You can buy some frozen stir fry veggies in the freezer section of you grocery store. Basically just throw it all together with some soy sauce and there you have it! Some tips: Fried rice makes better with day old, chilled rice. Sesame seeds are a nice addition to fried rice.

The best vegetarian chili in the world

We got this recipe from here, but I added a little more to it.

(my additions in italics)

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 medium onion, chopped
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 tablespoon of Tony Chachere's (for my illinois friends, this is just a popular cajun seasoning down in these parts. If I remeber correctly A few places up north started carrying it before I moved)
• 2 tablespoons dried oregano
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 2 green bell peppers, chopped
• 2 jalapeno peppers, chopped (we only added 1, and it was mild enough for Baby Kai to eat, but still had a nice kick to it)
• 3 zucchinis, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chile peppers, drained (used fire-roasted)
• 2 (12 ounce) packages vegetarian burger crumbles
• 3 (28 ounce) cans whole peeled tomatoes, crushed
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
• 1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can black beans
• 1 (15 ounce) can whole kernel corn

• Directions

  1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion, and season with bay leaves, cumin, oregano, and salt. Cook and stir until onion is tender, then mix in the celery, green bell peppers, jalapeno peppers, garlic, and green chile peppers. When vegetables are heated through, mix in the vegetarian burger crumbles. Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer 5 minutes.
  2. Mix the tomatoes into the pot. Season chili with chili powder and pepper. Stir in the kidney beans, garbanzo beans, and black beans. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 45 minutes. Stir in the corn, and continue cooking 5 minutes before serving.

Public Baltzell Announcement!!!!

I am trying to write this all within a few minutes while it is lunch time, so forgive any errors:

This will be the first time I share this on an open forum!

Let me start off by saying this and by being totally transparent:

1.) I REALLY struggle with being transparent. I really kinda suck at it.

2.) As a result of struggling with being transparent, I REALLY struggle with being vulnerable.

I am very aware of both of these things in my life and I am on a constant journey of opening up and learning to let my walls down. Even saying this is difficult. Which is stupid, because it shouldn't even be that big of a deal.

Because of my silly issues, when big things happen in our life (Me and my husband, Seth) I tend to not talk about them very openly, for fear that the may not come to fruition. What I am about to write about has CONSUMED my thoughts, my prayers, my heart and has shot itself all of the way to the top of me and Seth's priority list. So, what is it you ask?!? Well... deep breath... here we go:

From the time we had our first serious, "how many kids do you want to have?" talk, Seth and I have known that we wanted to adopt a child one day. It was in both of our hearts from the beginning. I think we both just always assumed that it would be after we had our own children. I had done a little research here and there, but never thought in a million years that it would be anytime soon. Without going into the whirlwind of details that have led us to this point, after a lot of prayer and lots of faith, we have decided to begin pursuing the adoption process immediately, and have already begun to do so.

It makes me swell up with joy to say that we are now in the process of adopting a child.

As if the adoption process would not be hard enough, we specifically feel led to adopt an orphan from Haiti. Because of the chaos that has settled over the country of Haiti right now, many details are up in the air as far as what the federal government is going to allow and also the Haitian government. If necessary, we will adopt a child who was not specifically orphaned by the earthquake, but one who was already in an orphanage in order to make room for the massive influx of new orphans that will be pouring into the missions and orphanages here in the next several months. So rather than changing one life, we have the potential to change two. Haiti is the most destitute country in the western hemisphere and pre-earthquake had an estimated 380,000 orphans. That number is rapidly growing more and more every day.

Since the start of this process, God has opened several doors and allowed us to make some amazing connections to help with this process. I would have not even known where or how to start. In the middle of everything, we discovered that some friends of our are pursuing adopting a Haitian orphan as well. Sarah and Jason will be walking along side of us throughout this amazing Journey. Sarah has already been a wellspring of help, support and encouragement.

For obvious reasons, the doors to Haiti are currently closed completely for adoption, but our agency tell us that by the time we complete our home study and paperwork the doors won’t just be opened, but orphans will most likely be allowed into the states on humanitarian visas in large numbers.

We are praying for favor, open doors, wisdom, the financial means, and an expedited and smooth process. We realize that most adoptions do not fit that description, however we believe that God has placed this in our hearts “for such a time as this” and we refuse to put any limits on the miracles that we are expecting to see! We have no real time estimate. Basically, we will have everything done, approved and will be ready to go when we get the call that the doors are open.

Every moment of our lives is so much bigger than us, and it just keeps getting bigger. I don’t even know how it’s going to get accomplished. I can’t explain what God has done in our hearts the past few weeks to bring us to this point. It’s a passion that runs so deep, it is leaving us at a loss for words… all we can say is that God said DO IT and has been paving the way ever since we decided to take the first step. There are a million details that are going to need to fall into place now. We cannot do this without Him and without the ones we love supporting us. I am unashamedly, selfishly asking, please put us on your prayer list and pray for us daily.

One of my best friends, Missy (who you can meet, HERE) has a heart for Haiti, and just a few short months ago gave up part of her summer and went on a mission trip there. She is one of my most cherished friends who is a constant source of encouragement and inspiration in my life. We are both BIG dreamers, who are also determined to pursue every last one of our dreams, no matter how big the obstacles. As I was writing this post, she sent me a message that I will hold close to my heart in the months to come. Here is part of what she sent:

"This dream about adopting is no longer a dream It has moved into the classification of REALITY! So Keep preparing for that Haitian child and keep thanking God in advance for giving him to you. He's YOURS already

.Point 1.: The process is a mere detail to God.

The outcome is a an amazing addition to an already amazing family. He was born for you to be his mother. REALLY!? That gives me chills and tears in my throat.

.Point 2.: Relish the joy that comes with anticipating.

I have been trying to not get caught up in the process so much but am looking to the finisher of my faith to work all of that out. I encourage you to do the same. Set backs are sometimes giant steps out of the wrong direction and into the right direction. I never tend to look at it like that but I will be trying to because I understand God is sovereign.

I am praying oh so often about your 'process' but even more so for your new family of 4 because you already are that, "Baltzell, party of 4".

HOW FREAKING EXCITING!?!?!?

(I was shouting that)"

Not everyone is going to feel led to adopt. It is very expensive, and a huge process, and it is quite literally doing something that will forever change your life. However, every single person can do something to help this country that is in such desperate need. Donate. Go there. If you can't go, support someone who can go. Send supplies. Pray. Just do something. Be a part of something bigger than yourself! Life just isn't that exciting if you don't give yourself challenges to overcome.

I can't wait to share this journey with you! I will definitely be posting updates and specific prayer needs throughout this process.

Where we are now: We have an agency, a lawyer, connections in Haiti. Have already started the application process and are going to get our "fingerprints" done on Monday.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Gray.

Do you ever just feel gray?

It's been a gray week in so many ways.

Weather wise is the most literal way. It's been just a preview of winter, with cool temps and overcast skies.

My week has been good, but has been rough at the same time.

Work was absolutely insane this week, but I have a job that I truly love and look forward to going to everyday.

I got some bad news, but I got some good news.

I had some breakthrough's but I had some set backs.

I lost a good friend, but made some really awesome new ones. (yes you, Sam!)

I didn't cook once, but I kept the house very clean.

One of my friends miscarried, one of my friends brought a new life into the world.

I am "out of my mind" homesick, but my dad bought me a plane ticket to Texas for next week.

I got sick again, but this week we are doing an acoustic set which won't require as much out of my vocal chords.

Had some tough counseling sessions with students and heard things that broke my heart, but get to speak into their hearts, love on them, be there for them and impact their lives in a positive way. (such an awesome blessing!)

I didn't know what to say, but God gave me the right words.

I'm down on myself today, but have an amazing husband who lifts me up, no matter what stupid thing I did this time.

It's been rainy and drizzling for days, but the leaves are turning bright shades of pink, red, orange and yellow.

Life is sometimes hard, but God is always good.

Weeks are sometimes long, but God is always good.

Days that should be bright and sunny are sometimes cold and cloudy, but God is always good.

Life throws us the unexpected, but God is always good.

We may lose our way, by God is always good.

Money may be tight, but God is always good.

Our bodies may be sick, but God is always good.

We sometimes make mistakes, but God is always good.

We are sometimes helpless, but God is always good.

We are sometime hopeless, but God is always good.

We may not understand, but God is always good.

Days may look like this:

But in the end:

...because God is always good.

"When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

2 Corinthians 4:17
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

Romans 8:28
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Strongly

I believe in God. Strongly. As a result, I believe in angels.

Some days I feel like my guardian angel must a bit like this.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.
Is. 40:28